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Thank God It’s Friday

​Fake Truth

IN HIS APPALLING, but entirely predictable, “defence” of the sanctity of marriage as being between a penis and a vagina on Monday, the Catholic archbishop actually had the cojones to invoke truth! Ah, but doesn’t God work in mysterious ways his hypocrites to reveal. Look at the picture of the half-dozen old men – average age about 80, two in dresses (if not quite in drag), one proudly sworn to complete personal sexual ignorance – look at six or seven old men, holding hands and read more...

TGIF - Delayed

Thank God it's Friday's column will be delayed by one day now it is being published in the Newsday. Check your Newsday paper or online today for BC's column Thank God It's FridayTomorrow you will find TGIF on bcpires.com and all subscribers will received their emailed copy.In case you firetrucking care! read more...

Whither West Indies?

IN THEIR 20 and 18 years of life, respectively, I have never told my children a lie about anything important (though I may have artfully dodged a question or two). Accordingly, my children have accepted everything I’ve sincerely told them except for two propositions too preposterous to reconcile with the modern evidence: 1. When I was their age, in order to have a phone, you first had to construct a building (if only a telephone-booth); and 2. When I was their age, West Indies had the best read more...

60 With a Bullet

TODAY IS my birthday and what have I got to show for myself after six decades of this cosmic joke called life? Receding hairline, expanding waistline, infrequent byline, recurring punch line: eight times before today, I’ve repeated the same hairline/ waistline/ byline joke I first made in this column when I was 30 with a Bullet.30 years of birthdays “in the papers” and I still can’t think of a joke better than life itself. Since we cannot happily contemplate simultaneously both read more...

Stair in Defeat

OF COURSE, WHEN you’re moving all your stuff down the stairs when you’re moving IN, it almost doesn’t matter. Indeed, if you must wrestle a deep freezer along a narrow staircase into your apartment, down is way better than up. Put in easygoing terms, a basement flat scales the top-floor. Gravity is even helpful, going down. Yes, the penthouse has the view, but, when all you’re looking at is the underside of a mahogany chest-of-drawers you have to manhandle on your own chest-of-bones read more...
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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

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Noble Piece Prize for Me

11 June 2018 Deerest Dairy The day I’ve been waiting for with worms in my mouth – baited breath – has arrived at last after all this time finally and how goodly it is: soon I will sit down with Little Kim Ping Pong and DO A DEAL FOR A NEW TRUMP TOWER in Poon Tang or whatever it is they call the North Korn-Hole-ean New York. I’m going to take one look at that little yellow nip and he will quake in his boots. They’re all afraid of me. All those European wah-wah-crybaby leaders want read more

No Such Thing as the American BLACK Eagle?

6 June 2018Deer DairyWhat a fantastical time! Things could not be going more goodly. I will soon get the Noble Peace Prize – or else I will defund it, like I did Planned Parenthood – for putting my boot on the neck of Little Rocket Kim Ping Pong HE NEEDED A STRONG AMERICAN JACKBOOT ON HIS LITTLE YELLOW NECK MANY FINE PEOPLE KNEW THAT. Many people are saying that, sometimes, the Nazis knew what they were doing. Even more betterly than the Noble Peace Prize I’m going to get is WHAT I’M read more

BC on TV

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A Trifecta of What’s Best on the Box for Sunday 17 June 2018

On the first Sunday of the competition, BC on TV tips its hat to the 2018 World Cup by picking three sports films but the real contenders for the BEST FILM OF THE DAY (Inception (action-fantasy-sci-fi), 5.10pm MaxP, Black Mass (biodrama-crime-thriller), 1.20pm Max) were fairly recently picked anyway. Today’s Number One Film: *Field of Dreams, 10.10am HBO Family. Watch this if you liked Millions, Dances With Wolves or E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial. By far and away Kevin Costner’s best film, this wonderful little fantasy of a man bringing legendary baseball players to life in his Iowa cornfield is not at all corny and, more important, avoids entirely the sentimentality of its chief competitor, Dances With Wolves (even though the aficionado would expect its Read more...

Trini to d Bone

The Arima Kid - Pt II

You were doing something serious and important?But of course!Yet it was trivialized?[Interrupting] Everybody, everybody, everybody!Was that not painful?Very painful. Even my closest connections, some of my immediate family and other people would say, “Listen, man, why you don’t do something serious?” But it give opportunity! I remember we went to Cedros and there was a man with a funny face. They called him “Ugly”. He was making faces at me from the audience. People were saying, “Move from here!” But I put him on [camera] and asked him, “How you going?” And he made his funny face. He got a job just from that, what we called DEWD or Public Works. He became a personality, more than a clown. He became “Mr Ugly” instead of just “Ugly”. So it Read more...

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.
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