BC’s Fantasy Football Nightmares


Kick Off

GW35 ​ Three Times a Bruno Three Times

THE FANTASY Premier League world has been reeling with delight, anticipation and sheer novelty since the announcement that last week’s cancelled Liverpool v Man Utd game would be played this week, thereby creating the first triple game-week in FPL history.

But a tosser from Trinidad like me half-expected it. I come from a place that was itself named after what the Catholics call “the Holy Trinity” and know it in my DNA that good things come in threes. (And ignore, for the moment, that the proposition also applies to bad things.)

Yeah, I’ve still got it my triple captain chip. (And ignore, for the moment, that I only have it because I forgot to click on “Save Your Team” in GW32.)

So, yeah, I’m in a good mood.

At least until the United games start and I find my triple-captain Bruno Fernandes gets rested for two of them.

Especially after I’ve taken a12-point hit to get him.

Before the triple was announced, I used my free transfer to replace Rui Patricio, who managed two points last week, with Jordan Pickford, who has been saving like a miser (and who has two games this week, a game against SHEFFIELD in blank game-week 36 and and another green fixture in GW37).

After the triple announcement, to get Bruno in, I had to sell two players. The old Azpi left my backline (bringing in the young and crucially, cheap, Phillips) and the single-game Son accommodated the triple-game Bruno.

I could have stopped there — and I’ll find out quickly enough if I should have — but I persuaded myself that it would be a smart move to make it an Unholy Trinity. I traded my Chelsea Mount, who has not been out of my team since he’s been in it, for the United Mount, one Mason for another, but neither of them free.

If Mason G should play an hour of all three games, I’m ahead of my own game on paper; if he doesn’t, and Mason M shines v City, I’ll have convinced myself that I should not lose faith with my real football team, Chelsea, even in the fantasy version.

We’ll see.

BC FC managed 47 points (eight more than the average of 39) in GW34, despite my two Liverpool players having their game cancelled and the old Azpi being benched. It was enough for BC FC to remain on top of our family & friends mini-league and to hold the second spot in the more informed neighbourhood league. Indeed, BC FC was only 26 points behind the number one team; before Christmas, when BC FC was in the bottom slot in that league, the gap was, I think, 186 points.

For the first time, in five years of FPL, BC FC was in the top 500K!

If only fleetingly, my Overall Rank was 491,283.

BC FC would normally expect a seven to be inserted before the four.

With three weeks left, the top four teams in the family & friends league have, respectively, have 2018 (BC FC), 1974, 1967 and 1949 points. The team at number ten has 1507.

In the neighbourhood league, the point spreads are 2044, 2018 (BC FC), 1974 and 1960. The team at number eight has 1197.

Even with my arithmetic, I can calculate that the chances are very slim of me finishing this season in cellar position in either mini-league.

But it may be too much to hope for that, after four years ending the season in the bottom 500K of the bottom million — once, the bottom 100K — BC FC may finish at the top of one mini-league, in the top three of another and in the top million overall.

Giddy heights for bottom-dwellers.

My next advice column/eulogy/apology for BC FC will appear around the GW36 deadline