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BC’s Fantasy Football Nightmares

Intro….

Kick Off

Too Good to be True

A FANTASY FOOTBALL NIGHTMARE — But You Never Wake Up

An advice column for the bottom seven million Fantasy Premier League managers
By BC Pires

It’s probably wise for me to remember the American turkeys who boasted of being on top up to Wednesday of this week but my Fantasy Premier League team, BC FC, scored 67 points, 12 more than the global average of 55, and is top turkey this week. Yes, against the run of play, as it were, BC FC, which was in cellar position (at number ten) of our family & friends mini-league just a month ago, rose to number one.
I couldn’t have done it without me, but I’m also likely to undo it all by myself just as fast. Probably faster.
The top four teams in the family league have, respectively, 518, 514, 513 and 510 points respectively, so my dazzling success is not as blinding as it looks at first blush. Also, in the smaller, far more knowledgable neighbourhood league — where two of the teams aren’t managed by my wife’s seven- and nine-year-old nephews — BC FC is at number five, below the halfway point, and almost 100 points away from the number one team on 606 points.


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Woke Up, It Was a Chelsea Nightmare Morning? GW9

A FANTASY FOOTBALL NIGHTMARE — But You Never Wake Up

An advice column for the bottom seven million Fantasy Premier League managers

It would be misleading to suggest I was doing better in the Fantasy Premier League but, last game-week, I certainly did less badly. My haul — I use the term hesitantly but, for me, it is — of 68 points was almost ten more than the average of 55 and more than half the highest score of 133; these are rarefied atmospheres, for me.

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Go Big or Go Back to the Bottom of Your Mini-League GW8


A FANTASY FOOTBALL NIGHTMARE — But You Never Wake Up

An advice column for the bottom seven million Fantasy Premier League managers

By BC PiresWith 41 points in game-week seven, 12 points fewer than the average, BC FC, my Fantasy Premier League team, managed to hold its number four spot in my family & friends league, though it did drop one notch to six (out of eight) in the smaller, more informed neighbourhood league.

Still, I’m doing better than my hip hop-loving son, whose Steez FC seems to have inherited the number ten or cellar position from me in the family league. I can also lord it over my wife (clearly only in a manner of speaking), whose Most Handsome XI — yes, precisely that is the basis of selection — is at number seven.

In any 50-50 fantasy football situation, I can be relied upon to plump for the wrong one, nine times out of ten.

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