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BC’s Fantasy Football Nightmares

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GW28 Snakes & Salah-adders

An advice column for the bottom seven million Fantasy Premier League managers

My Fantasy Premier League team, BC FC, continues the downward slip that may lead it right back to what has been, for most FPL seasons, it’s natural place at the bottom of its mini-leagues. I’m unlikely to actually sink to cellar position because the bottom team has almost 400 points fewer (396).

Someone who passed O’Level maths in the usual one attempt, and not the four spread over three years it took me, could probably declare it a certainty but, with nine clear weeks left in the competition — I just counted on my fingers to be sure — I could not state with any certainty (nor even great doubt) that it was a mathematical impossibility; but at least my chances of ending up at No 10 are better than Sir Keir Starmer’s.

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GW27 Mount an Attack

All good things must come to an end, especially the ones that started off as extremely unlikely, and my Fantasy Premier League team, BC FC, has been edged out of the top spot in our ten-team family & friends mini-league; the good news is that I was at least pipped by another team that played its bench boost, and it wasn’t my brother-in-law, who himself slipped to fourth.

BC FC scored 83 points with the bench boost, but I took a 12-point hit to achieve a full 15-member squad with two games. My bench provided 24 points so I suppose I’m 12 to the good — but if I’d made no change at all and picked my best XI, I’d have had 69 points from my players and the original dozen back.

Looked at that way, I made two points off my bench boost.

I begin to understand why I’m in normally at the other end of any FPL league or mini-league; if there were prizes given for being in the bottom 50K, I’d be a serious contender for world recognition.

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