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BC’s Fantasy Football Nightmares

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GW25: Leeds Us Not Into Temptation...

A FANTASY FOOTBALL NIGHTMARE — But You Never Wake Up

An advice column for the bottom seven million Fantasy Premier League managers

Somehow, although two managers in our ten-team family & friends Fantasy Premier League mini-league used their free hit chips to cash in on City’s and Everton’s double game-week, my FPL team, BC FC, managed to hold on to the number one spot. My hip-hop loving son’s Steez FC scored highest with 103 points and my brother-in-law’s Toss the Salah (which does anything but) returned 88 points. Without playing a chip, BC FC’s 88 points were just enough to see off the threat.

Just.

There are now only eight points between BC FC and Toss the Salah. Steez FC has risen from number ten to number nine; my son has clearly inherited my penchant for the game. I happen to be at the top, at the moment, but my enduring natural place is at the bottom.

I feel like I imagine Donald Trump would have, if he’d just somehow managed to get Mike Pence to overthrow that election.

I know I’m here… but I also know I probably shouldn’t be.

Perhaps the comparison is closer to Ted Cruz in Cancun/Texas.

In any event, with no Leeds players at all in my squad — I got on the Harry Kane bandwagon, not the Patrick Bamford one — I suspect the small gap between BC FC and the rest of the pack will grow smaller fast, and the hounds now baying at its heels will be nipping at them in GW26.

Assuming BC FC isn’t brought down and thoroughly chewed up this week.

Still, green arrows are better than red ones in this game and BC FC collected three in the big leagues. BC FC is at 51,163 (up from 56,754) in Chelsea, at #413 in Barbados (448) and, OR, up to 895,135 from 1,000,835.

And I’ve only just checked and realised that every other team but mine in our family & friends mini-league has Bamford!

And several of them have either two or three Leeds players.

So I’ve used my free transfer to switch Mikhail Antonio out to bring in Bamford and paid four points — halving my lead over my brother-in-law before a whistle even blows this game-week — to replace Jarrod Bowen with Raphinha.

The treadmill is spinning and I’m running faster than ever to, hopefully, go nowhere.

Like the rest of the FPL world, perhaps, and certainly like the rest of our mini-league, I’ve captained Bamford.

I hear he does the same.

So now I wait to see whether the new Bamford BC FC will prevail or whether it will be bullhorned out of the way by Toss the Salah.

My next advice column/eulogy/apology for BC FC will appear around the GW26 deadline