BC’s Fantasy Football Nightmares


Kick Off

GW27 Mount an Attack

All good things must come to an end, especially the ones that started off as extremely unlikely, and my Fantasy Premier League team, BC FC, has been edged out of the top spot in our ten-team family & friends mini-league; the good news is that I was at least pipped by another team that played its bench boost, and it wasn’t my brother-in-law, who himself slipped to fourth.

BC FC scored 83 points with the bench boost, but I took a 12-point hit to achieve a full 15-member squad with two games. My bench provided 24 points so I suppose I’m 12 to the good — but if I’d made no change at all and picked my best XI, I’d have had 69 points from my players and the original dozen back.

Looked at that way, I made two points off my bench boost.

I begin to understand why I’m in normally at the other end of any FPL league or mini-league; if there were prizes given for being in the bottom 50K, I’d be a serious contender for world recognition.

My delusions of grandeur last week have had the sobering effect you’d expect most people to accept gracefully, but which I still struggle against; I’m not yet ready to embrace my mediocrity, especially when I’ve spent more weeks at number one than David Bowie and have only slipped to second.

This week’s agonising (the main reason I do FPL — because life under covid lockdown is not anxious enough for me) paralysed me for three days, all of which I spent trying to work out whether I should indeed play my free hit chip in the fast-approaching blank game-week, or whether I should use free transfers and hits to field, not an XI, but maybe a VII in GW29.

With Harvey Barnes injured, I spent a long time wondering whether I should replace him with Jesse Lingard or Tomas Soucek or Bukayo Saka or Raphinha, and which one would be best for GW29.

And then, in the last game of the week, my real team, Chelsea, beat the champs and I knew I had to bring Mason Mount back.

So that’s just what I’ve done.

The original plan of using free transfers to build the team I think I know I want over weeks and to play my free hit for GW29 reasserted itself in my ever-doubting mind.

So now I’m 15 points below the top team and 16 above the third, a difference that can be rubbed out by one player on another team having a great week.

And I’m more or less without forwards this week.

I won’t play a fantasy player who’s playing Chelsea in real life, so DCL is on my bench, with Rhian Brewster (whom I brought in, just to be able to afford Salah).

So my lone striker is Ollie Watkins; who seems adrift if he’s not tied to Jack Grealish.

But at least I’ve got three City players, up to one of whom might play both games.

I’m captaining Raheem Sterling although Ilkay Gundogan is probably the smart choice, because I know the top team manager is likely to captain Gundogan and I reckon this is my best chance of getting back to number one in one week; this is just the kind of thinking that keeps me in the bottom 7M but it’s too late now to do anything about it. (Unless, of course, I change my mind before deadline and switch the armband to the old Ilkay.)

Who knows? After the series of many short ladders by which I climbed, painstakingly to the top of our game board of a mini-league, I may well have stepped, last week, on that last and long snake right before the 100th square.

I see a Wheeee! or a Whoaaaa! in my immediate future.

My next advice column/eulogy/apology for BC FC will appear around the GW28 deadline