Subscribe to Thank God It’s Friday

TGIF columns are in order by date from the most recent.

Scroll down to search or read more

Count Your Blessings

IT’S A FIRETRUCKED up week in which Donald Trump survives covid19 but Eddie Van Halen and Johnny Nash both die, and proof there is no God, since God knows the world would be a better place to have lost Fat Nixon and kept Eddie & Johnny.

But how much better?
I’ve actually worked it out.
Here, for your consideration, Twilight Zone-style, are the benefits and burdens, the tribulations and the triumphs, of Donald Trump either surviving or dying of covid19; the latter of which, with luck, may yet happen.
Despite the steroid-driven super-confidence he displayed for almost a minute in short videos since leaving the ICU, it can take months to die of covid19, as Herman McCain found out 28 days after he attended that Trump Tulsa rally/super-spreader event; and Trump is a morbidly obese, 74-year-old male, who was reduced to spluttering by climbing two flights of stairs to what is now the Mussolini Balcony at the White House. Few people get to high risk so quickly.
So cross your fingers.
Of course, it would be more satisfying for him to suffer the round cut-arse he’s booked for himself over the last four years of horror, and to see him go from the White to the Big House, but it’s safer for the world for him to expire before he implements the intention to steal the election he has made pellucid to his private army and co-conspirators in treason.
Benefits of Donald Trump NOT dying of covid19:
  • Barron Trump would not lose a father.
Burdens of Donald Trump NOT dying of covid19:
  • All the evil would get much worse; by geometric progression; and the cov-idiots would KNOW coronavirus is a hoax.
Benefits of Donald Trump dying of covid19:
  • Barron Trump would lose a father who had not yet attempted to make himself the American Hitler, perhaps making Barron’s future coming to terms with the horrible reality of his father slightly less appalling.
  • Without the 30 per cent of disinformation he personally introduces daily, science might gain a foothold in the fight against the coronavirus.
  • Only the morons would not wear masks; Darwinism might triumph.
  • American democracy might survive.
  • Trumpism would certainly die with him. Neither of his idiot sons have the combination of ignorance and arrogance, evil and entitlement and witlessness & will required to become a martyr to the cause of the Revenge of the South. As with Donald and Fred Trump, it will take Moron 1& Moron 2 decades to emerge from the shadow of their ignorant, racist, misogynist, fascist father to become ignorant, racist, misogynist fascists in their own right.
  • The whole world would sigh with relief, apart from the 30-to-40 per cent of poorly educated white American men who would, if they could, happily vote to bring back slavery.
  • Russia and China probably wouldn’t bother to interfere in the US elections, with no puppet/idiot to manipulate/exploit.
  • The mythology of white supremacy would revert to what it was, antebellum; people would feel shame, not pride, about being racists.
  • The most powerful political office in the world would be held, not by an immoral man-child, but by a human being; or Mike Pence.
  • The dictator’s need to invent a constant enemy around whom he could rally hate would vanish, allowing Americans to admit they like one another, even if they are white/ black/ immigrant/ gay/ female/ Hindu/ Republican/ Democrat/ whatever.
  • Hate itself would revert to being repulsive, instead of being a pre-qualification for a Cabinet post.
  • Fat Himmler (aka AG William Barr) would go to jail and the irony he brings to the title of the Department of Justice would vanish.
  • It would be harder to appoint for 30 years a Supreme Court judge who is herself 30 years behind the American and world times.
  • “Believers” would finally be relieved of their hypocrisy in supporting an evil man, perhaps even in time to scrape their way into Heaven.
  • Republicans might discover humility and recover their consciences, shame and backbones.
  • Trump himself would be judged less harshly; marginally and momentarily.
  • Fathers of daughters who support Trump would not have to tie themselves in moral and logical knots to try to excuse his quasi-paedophile remarks about his own daughter.
  • Melania could stop batting away his tiny hands.
Burdens of Trump dying from covid19:
  • It probably wouldn’t, but it just might, somehow, lead to Moscow Mitch, Shameless Sycophant Lindsay and all the other Republican low-lifes retaining their seats in Congress.
  • There are NO other burdens.
Do the maths. (It’s really arithmetic.)
And get ready to jump for joy.

BC Pires does not wish ill on any human being, only his just desserts to the most deserving man-child on the planet

Navigational Links

Stacks Image 82615