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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

Thanks-Taking Day Blues

26 November 2018

Deer Dairy

What a bigly disappointment Thanksgiving always is!!!! You have to pretend to like being at home and Melania gave the turkey drumstick to that fat little kid AGAIN IT IS MINE EVEN IF I DON’T EAT IT and I prefer KFC and Big Macs anyway. YOU CAN’T EAT TURKEY WITH FRIES. Just throw away the turkey and eat the fries, bestly advice I always give myself but at least I am around to save America and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN LIKE A SHARK MAKE AMERICA GREAT WHITE AGAIN. Put America back to work building the wall!!!! Of course, we’ll have to get the wetbacks to it, no Real Americans working for that shitty minimal wage. SEND THEM BACK TO THERE SHITHOLE COUNTRIES GET A CARAVAN FROM NORWAY!!!!! If you’re going to grab stripper pussy, make sure it’s blonde, I always say I NEVER DID THAT AND BESIDES SHE LOVED IT STORMY SAID I REMINDED HER OF THE WASHINGTON MONTELMENT IT WAS SO BIGLY MADE HER EYES WATER!!!! You think Fake News would have put my advice to the Navy about steam not digital as the lead story but no only the late night TV shows. I KNOW MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAN ANYONE. Lightweight Navel loser leaders can’t follow anything. Steam is bestly, then coal. COAL WORKERS VOTE FOR ME!!!! The only thing more backward than STUPID CHINEES HOXE RENEWABLE ENERGY SCAM is FAKE RUSSIAN COLLUSION HOXE!!!! THERE IS NO COLLUSION. But, while everyone is talking about the Caravan of Rapists, my new stooge will pull the plug on Robert Mule-Fucker’s conflicted so-called investigation. Unless he exacerbates me. Think I will have a barrel of ice cream. And a Diet Coke.

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