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The Walking (Brain) Dead

FOR MY sins, it seems, I’m in London, because it feels much more like I’ve stumbled onto the set of the pilot episode of The Walking Dead, A&E’s great American zombie apocalypse TV series.

And the first thing they killed was firetrucking irony.

And it won’t rise again and stumble around, waving its mangled arms and dragging a rotting leg.

On Monday, with 50,000-plus new cases every day of the Boris (formerly known as the delta) variant rampaging, and with daily deaths rising rapidly towards 500, and at probably the worst point so far of the pandemic, statistically… the brain-dead Vote Leave Enoch Powell Homage Tory government of England (dragging Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland behind it, like so many dead legs) actually – and, no lie, deliberately – lifted all covid19 safety precautions.


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Break for the Border

WITH TRINIDAD & Tobago’s national borders set to open on Saturday 17 July (if there are no last-minute political brakes for the border-opening) foreign travel becomes relevant to us again.

At least technically.

But it’s been so very long since any of us flew anywhere, most of us have forgotten how to do it.

As Trinidad’s most sensitive newspaper writer, then – excluding everything I say about politicians, priests, pastors & pundits, of course – it is my patriotic duty to provide this blow-by-blow guideline to reentering the age of jet travel.

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At SEA with Covid

LAST THURSDAY, 18,000-odd 11-year-olds sat the Secondary Entrance Assessment, all hoping to pass for a “prestige school” which, in Trinidad, means one where the teachers are more worried about their students getting nine CXCs under their belt than their already having TEC Nines in their book-bags.

In sympathy with children whose educations may have ended before the Euros 2020 final even started, I began my own Senility Entrance Assessment exam last Friday, with the maths section of a Newsday practice test. Today I will wrestle with what we now call “language arts” because we’re too ashamed of how poorly we do “English”. I’ve shortened the questions considerably because SEA grammatical style is not particularly languaged-ly-artful.

Language Arts. Section I.

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